


Eyes Full Of Stars

by GroovynSpoiled (FeederMercury)



Series: Eyes Full Of Stars [1]
Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Blind Brian May, Blind Character, Blind!Brian, Blind!Brian May, Blindness, Bottom Brian May, Brian has cataracts, Brian is going through it tbh, Brian isnt blind through the whole thing, But I did my best, Cataract Surgery, Comedy, Deacury, Disability, Disabled Character, Domestic Fluff, Don't kill me if I got shit wrong, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epilepsy, Epileptic Brian, Epileptic Brian May, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Hospitalization, Hospitals, Learning Disabilities, Light Angst, M/M, Masturbation, Maylor - Freeform, Non-Permanent Vision Loss, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pac-Man - Freeform, Pac-Man is a dog not a video game character, Physical Disability, References to Illness, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Seizures, Service Animals, Service Dogs, Sick Character, Sickfic, Surgery, This specific topic has hardly any research behind it, Top Roger Taylor, Undiagnosed Cataracts, Wholesome, Wholesome but also angst at some parts, blind, cataracts, which is stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2020-10-25 03:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20717435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeederMercury/pseuds/GroovynSpoiled
Summary: Brian May was a child when he began to go blind, only four when he lost nearly all of his sight. Now at the age of twenty-two, and still blind as a bat, he's been waiting for a surgery that could recover his vision back to near perfection. With the help of his friends and boyfriend, it turns out life could be a beautiful thing.





	1. Dog Food

**Author's Note:**

> hi friends so ive been thinking of this fic for so fucking long but ive decided to just go ahead and finish ch1 and post it even if i dont really have every chapter done :) this is for sure a wip but please read it anyway! this will be like my side project when im not working on Drowse (which, i know side project sounds like it wont ever update but dont worry it will lmao) so i hope yall love this as much as im excited for yall to love it! i did my research on this the absolute best i could and im so sorry if i fuck anything up, i really did try. if i did fuck anything up please tell me in a dm at my tumblr: @Feedermercury <3

His alarm must not have gone off because when he woke, he failed to hear the birds chirping. The bed was empty when he checked too, and he pouted. 

Brian’s hand went to his alarm and upon pressing the large button set in the middle of the machine, the robotic voice announced, ‘_It is one thirty-two PM_ ’

He rolled his eyes and groaned with his head hitting the pillow again. 

“Roger!” He yelled. “Why didn’t you wake me up?!”

He heard a scuffling and Roger murmuring. “Because you looked tired and I'm a very considerate boyfriend?”

Brian rolled his eyes again and climbed out of bed. His dog was nowhere to be felt and he called for him without a response. 

“Where’s Pac-Man?” Brian asked the surrounding area. 

“Outside, probably taking a shit, do you need me to get him?” 

He thought about it for only a moment before shaking his head with a sound of disagreement. He could get around the house fine, he just needed to know where he was. "No, no, let him take a shit."

Brian concentrated on the floor as he shuffled and followed the neon duct tape attached to their carpet, directing him to the kitchen where he smiled upon seeing a figure going about the room.

“Are you making breakfast?”

“I did say I was a very good boyfriend, didn’t I?” Roger grinned and rolled in for a kiss that Brian made a small noise of pleasure into upon sealing the deal.

“Maybe I can forgive you for disarming my alarm clock this time.”

“You say it like it’s a bloody bomb. Nerd,” The blonde pat his lover on the rear and pinched him for good measure. “Pac’s not eaten yet. Remember I’m making you breakfast before you get pissed about that.”

“And what have you been doing all day that made you overlook feeding him?"

“I made a few phone calls.”

Brian squinted and furrowed his brow. “To?”

“Hospital. Getting things ready and just making sure everything is set up for the big day.”

Oh. Right. That wasn’t exactly the first thing on Brian's mind when he woke up but now it was, and the stress returned with it.

“Baby,” Roger cooed, winding his arms around Brian’s neck the best he could given how much taller he was. “I know you’re nervous-“

“I’m not nervous.”

“Okay, so you’re a bit on edge. It’s okay, I would be too. It’s a big surgery.”

He rolled his shoulders but Roger persisted. “Can you just let Pac-Man in?” 

“What’s the magic word?”

“Now?”

“Ugh, okay, jeez. Someone’s not a morning person.” 

Roger went to the back door and Brian leaned against the kitchen counter with a hand driving through his hair. He was stressed, high strung to the point of snapping like a rubber band, but he had his reasons. 

He had been diagnosed with cataracts in both eyes as a boy when his parents thought he needed glasses. The ripe old age of four and he was already losing one of his most important senses, he was a very happy child.

Turns out, it was a little too late to do anything because of their ignorance. Not long after he’d been diagnosed he almost entirely lost sight, now only being able to see colourless blurs like he had his eyes open in milk. If anything was more than two feet in front of him it was a lost cause, non-existent to his world. 

Though that wasn’t his cause of anxiety, he had been blind practically all of his life and it no longer bothered him. In fact, it hadn’t even occurred to him that it could be something to be upset about until he met Roger. His cause of concern was when he’d received a call from his Ophthalmologist that he could qualify for an operation that could return his vision to near perfection. The worst part was that he might have to wear glasses.

Brian was overjoyed when he heard the news and Roger nearly passed out. He should be celebrating now but as the day reached nearer, the concern overtook him and he felt suffocated by worry.

It was on Rogers mind almost constantly and Brian just wanted to forget about it for a moment. Not talk about it every ten seconds. Just be normal like they used to, even if Brian was blind as a bat and used neon tape and a guide dog just to get about the house. 

When he heard the scraping of his dog, an enormous German Shepherd, rushing into the house with his paws chattering against the cement back porch before leaping through the door, he beamed and opened his arms for Pac-Man to let him know he was free for a hug.

He bounced into Brian’s arms and he laughed into his fur when he felt the dogs long tongue swiping across his face, though he knew it was probably just because he was hungry and not because he was beyond moved to see his owner.

“You hungry? Did Roger forget to feed you?” He requested in a baby-voice while spreading his hands through the dog's puffy cheeks.

“Hey! I did not forget! I gave him some- actually nevermind,” Roger raised his brows and whistled, thankful he didn’t accidentally say he’d given Brian’s dog human food. 

“I’m blind, not stupid. You think I can’t smell his breath when he eats bacon?”

“Okay, Professor X. Won’t do it again.”

Brian pursed his lips, unamused. “You always say that but yet I always hear you asking if he wants bacon. Nerd.”

“He’s a dog, Brian! He likes bacon, I can’t help it.” Pac-Man went to the cabinet and began to paw at the stained wood that squeaked back and forth when his large pads beat the front. Brian nodded over and over and went to the cabinet only to find it lacking the bag of dog food he was looking for.

“Goddamnit, Roger. Did you move his food, again ?”

“I like giving you a challenge,” Roger responded with a smile before physically turning his boyfriend around and presenting another cabinet where he could just see the large shape of the bag through the open doors. 

“Very funny, Rog. You suck.”

“It’s what I do best!” He teased with his hands going through Brian’s hair.

Brian shuffled himself on his rear over to the dog bowl, tagged with the same tape as the rest of the house, with the large bag of kibble resting on his lap that the dog followed while trying to push his nose inside.

“Ah, ah!” Brian rejected. Pac-Man backed down but grumbled and huffed in compliant to let Brian know he certainly didn’t want to do what he just did. He finally gave in and dumbed a cup-full of food into the bowl, the metal tinking over and over with each dry cube of food falling in, and he smirked to himself when the smacking and crunching started.

Roger continued cooking and when he turned off the stove, he turned around and patted his spatula against the oven."Bri, breakfast is ready. Get us some plates." 

Brian stood up with an accompanying groan and stretched. His shirt curled over his hips and the uncovered skin had a cold rush go past it, followed by warm fingers stroking over the warm flesh. Roger pulled at his underwear and licked some cooked yolk from his thumb with a smack of his lips.

"Maybe we could forget about breakfast right now. Go into the bedroom. Have some fun." His voice was dense and low, obviously already having made his decision. Brian reached down and felt a tightness in his boyfriend's pyjama pants.

"Mm," Brian hummed. "Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Definitely. Unless you moved that too."

"Don't be such a rotter," Roger laughed. "Come on, I'll alleviate some of that tension." He wrapped his arms around Brian's waist and got up to the tips of his toes to kiss at his lover's neck.

Brian was lead to the bedroom by Roger's hand and when his knees met the edge of the bed, he crawled in on his hands and knees and fell onto his side where he got on his back. His legs spread and he reached to touch either side of the bed.

"You expect me to do everything, huh?" Roger inquired teasingly. Brian nodded with his teeth going into his bottom lip. "You're so lazy." His words had no venom behind them so Brian laughed and nodded once more with his eyes fluttering closed.

Roger sat on top of his lap and unzipped Brian's jeans, recieving a satisfied hum in return for his hard work. Once his trousers were off, his shirt was removed just as soon. The blonde took Brian's hand and put it against his chest, allowing him to feel he was also missing his clothes.

"Did you close the door?" Brian asked quietly with his lips rubbing against one another. His head was tilted back into the pillow and he smiled when Roger ran his index finger over his thin chest.

"Why? Expecting company?"

"I don't want Pax seeing us."

Roger barked a laugh and shook his head before patting his chest. "You realize he's not gonna mind right?"

"Actually," Brian started with a matter-of-fact tone. "Remember when he tried to attack you because he thought I was having a seizure?"

"It isn't my fault that Pac-Man can't tell the difference between the best orgasm of your life and a seizure."

"Best org- Humble much?"

Roger grinned and nodded despite knowing it was too dark for Brian to even sort of see him. "Shut up. I closed the door, I knew you'd ask. Besides, did you ever think Pac likes watching us? What kind of dog owner are you to deny his urges?"

"Pax gets off on the neighbours garden gnomes, I don't think he wants to see us fucking. No offence, I'm sure it looks delightful."

"Well, there's a mirror next to the bed and in my humble opinion," Roger said flirtatiously. "It looks pretty good."

"Okay, okay. Enough of the small talk. Fuck me already."

Roger didn't need to be asked twice so he took hold of Brian's shoulders and encouraged him to his stomach where he smiled into the pillows.

It was only ten minutes after they'd started that they'd finished- well, Brian finished and Roger said he didn't mind that he didn't because he just needed Brian to feel good. Now they lay together in bed, holding sweaty hands, and panting with smiles on their faces.

The moment paused and Brian rolled to his side with his eyes going where he thought Roger's own could be but instead landed on his forehead. He didn't mention it.

"What if the operation goes poorly and my sight gets worse?"

"It's a half an hour surgery, Bri. I don't think they can fuck up too badly in that amount of time."

"What if they leave the laser on and they burn through my iris? Like that movie you told me about."

"Final Destination? I regret telling you about that. If I knew you'd get eye surgery one day I wouldn't have. Anyways, I promise that won't happen. Death isn't coming to collect your nuts on a plate."

"What if I feel it all? They don't put you to sleep during surgery."

"Brian, you know they give you an IV. You've asked me all this before, why are you asking again?" Roger turned to his side and frowned with his hand going to the side of Brian's face.

"I'm just worried. I'm sorry."

Roger sighed and stroked his lover's cheek. "Listen, it'll be okay. You won't even remember it and you'll be too loopy to know. I'll be sure to get lots of video of the weird shit you say."

Brian nodded but Roger could tell he didn’t agree. His hands shook a little more than moments before and he sniffled just a bit, but it was enough.

“Do you trust me?” Roger whispered.

“I do.”

“Then trust me when I tell you it’ll be okay.”

“Okay.”

Brian’s voice was thick and clouded with oncoming tears but Roger quickly swept them away with a smile. He took both of Brian's hands and pressed them against his face so he could tell he was doing so, and in return, he smiled back.

“You’re such a sap,” The brunette mumbled. “Go get breakfast from the kitchen, before it gets cold.”

“Alright, alright. If you get crumbs in the bed, I’m not making it again.”

Roger sat out of bed and went to the door, though Brian took special notice that he didn’t open it.

“I fucking knew you didn’t shut the door, you prick.” 

Roger gasped and stopped in his place. “Do you hear that? Listen, Bri, listen...It’s… Pac-Man beating off to us having sex.”

Brian groaned and slapped his hands over his face. “You are on thin ice, Roger.”

“Ooh, did you hear that, Pax? Thin ice!” Roger hissed the s’s and 'c' then wolf-whistled. “He’s getting the lotion as we speak, Bri, you better cover up!”

“I’m getting rid of both you and Pax.”

Roger laughed and patted the door. “Sure, sure. Then you can wonder which cabinet the dog food is in by yourself, right?”

Brian held up two middle fingers and smiled with a nod, sitting up. “I saw these at the grocery and got you a pair.”

“I don’t think you saw anything at the grocery-” Roger then bolted out of the room before Brian could react, laughing all the way.


	2. German Folk Metal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger discuss things the day of his surgery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually made this as ch3 but i decided i didnt like the original chapter 2 as much as this one and its my writing so i can do whatever i want lmao  
anways enjoy uwu  
tumblr: Feedermercury

It was hard to shave when you were blind.

It got easier as you went, but sometimes you missed spots and Brian was lucky to have a boyfriend who wouldn’t let him step out of the house with half a beard.

“Little to the bottom,” Roger spoke with a voice that stretched as he lifted his head and lowered his jaw in focus. 

“I just did the bottom, are you sure?” Brian asked, clutching a blue razor with water trickling down his arm and into his sleeve.

“Absolutely sure. Unless you want a goatee.”

“Oh god, I don’t want that.”

“No one wants that.”

They both bowed in agreement. No one wanted a goatee. 

Brian dried his hands and sat back from the sink with his head turning from left to right to give his boyfriend a view of his handy work. There was a hum and before he knew it, his shoulders were being pushed down and he was sitting on the toilet lid with Roger moving his face back and forth.

Brian pouted, and with a beaten; “I didn’t get it all?” Roger pouted too.

“That’s okay. You’ll be doing this by yourself in just a few days.”

But he didn’t want to be doing it by himself. He wanted to do it perfectly the first time instead of having someone watching over him so he doesn't miss spots. Roger was marvellous, and never judged him for such a thing, but he just wanted to do things Roger could without waiting for him to stop being busy.

Going for a walk by himself, even with Pac-Man, was unsafe, so Roger was there.

Shaving was unsafe, so Roger was there.

Cleaning was unsafe, so Roger was there.

But Roger could do all of that and more. He could reorganize furniture without fearing tripping over a table and cracking his skull open, he could shave by himself without needing anyone to check, and he could go on walks without anyone around. Even at night.

“I know you’re tired of this, babe,” Roger sighed while he lathered shaving cream on the spots Brian had missed. “Just think about how good it’ll be when you can look at that mirror and do this yourself. Even when I’m asleep.”

Brian smiled and closed his eyes peacefully at the thought. “What do I look like with a beard?”

“It makes your face look thinner. It’s the same colour as your hair, remember I told you it’s brown?”

“And the colour brown is like the feeling of tree bark.”

“Exactly.”

Roger pat Brian on the cheek just above the shaving cream smearing and smiled radiantly. “I know you know this, but you’re really handsome. You must be getting tired of hearing that but you should know; so your dick doesn’t explode when you look in a mirror.”

Brian’s eyes widened. “Well, you know what’s funny? No one ever tells blind people if they’re ungodly hideous. That would be an unfortunate conversation.”

The blonde laughed and rolled his eyes. “Well, it isn’t the case. I’ve seen ugly blind people,” Oh god. Did he just say that? “Actually, ignore what I just said. I’m going to hell.”

“To hell you go, Mister Sinner,” Brian waved his hand to the floor and smiled. He could hear and feel Roger begin to kneel down but then change his mind, then, finally, sit back up with a giggle.

“I just kneeled to make a joke about going to hell but… I haven’t swept.”

Brian grinned and giggled. “I know you did, I heard your knees hit the floor.”

Once his face was properly shaved, Roger pat his face again and squeezed his cheeks which made him wince. He always loved to do that whenever he could, especially when Brian thought he was asleep. It always surprised him and if Roger was lucky, he would get a scream.

Roger was definitely going to hell for fucking with his blind boyfriend for fun. Didn't mean he was going to stop, especially on a day like this when his window of opportunity to be the biggest dick ever to his visually impaired lover was closing.

“Big day today, huh?” Roger asked quietly. “I know you don’t want to say you're nervous, but-“

“I’m terrified.”

“Oh. Okay well. Ignore what I just said then.”

He puffed air out of his cheeks and tilted his head to the floor with a hand going to rest under his chin to support his head. His hands staggered so he closed them into fists.

“I just can’t lose the sight I have left for something I don’t really need. You and I could live like this for the rest of our lives. Not risking permanent, full blindness.” 

Roger sat on the floor and rested his head on Brian’s shaking knee. “But imagine twenty years down the road when you can’t have the surgery, and you regret never knowing.”

“But imagine if I can never see even your figure again. I can’t see you, but I know you’re in front of me. I can just hardly see you. But you’re there, and I can’t have that gone from my life. I can't live like that.” He stretched out and brushed his shoulder to show his point. 

“Listen, I know it’s overwhelming, but you need to take risks like this. You do it all the time, remember when you woke up at four in the morning and went on a walk without Pac-Man?”

Brian blinked. “That was a terrible example. I got lost and ended up in a bush.”

“And then you cried but we aren’t gonna mention that,” Roger mentioned anyways.

“It was a stressful night. Why was that your example?”

He breathed in and ran his fingers over the tops of Brian’s thighs. “Because you made a brave decision and even though it didn’t work out, and you came home covered in leaves and almost gave me a hernia, you still did it because you really wanted it. Being independent that is. Imagine all of the walks you’ll be able to go on when you can see, Bri.”

Brian agreed so he smiled and put his hand out to the top of Rogers's head where he stroked back and forth through the long hair. He hadn’t showered in around three days and he could tell, but Roger had also been up stressing and making phone calls to make sure everything went flawless for today. Even down to the smallest things like the blankets on the hospital bed he’d be getting because he knew Brian didn’t like the feeling of the scratchy blankets there usually was, which he didn't even need to be told.

That was something he loved about Roger, he always remembered the important things.

“We should go to a museum after my surgery,” He said carefully and hopefully, a head tilt and smile going with it. “And the coffee shop. Oh, we should see a movie-“

“Baby,” Roger laughed. “We have time to do everything you just said. You have to have the bloody surgery first.”

Though he knew everything to be known practically inside and out based on Roger never shutting up about everything, he was still a little timid. There were a lot of things he didn’t like about the idea of the surgery, such as the fact he would be awake while it happened. 

What would he do with his hands while someone who probably woke up far too early and drank too much coffee slices his eyes open? Would that person go on to perform another surgery right after, forgetting about him after? What music would they listen to while they did it, if any? Lots of questions. 

“What music do you think we’ll listen to during surgery?”

Without missing a beat, Roger said; “Spanish rap music.”

“Wait what? Why?”

“So you’ll be so confused trying to figure out what they’re saying that you forget you’re having surgery.”

“That’s a fair point. I’ll request Spanish rap music. Like some weirdo.”

“If you want to be really confused, ask for German folk metal.”

“God, you’re so weird.”

Roger pat Brian’s cheeks and made an ‘_oooh!_’ sound with his teeth clenched. “You know it!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please kudos, comment, and add to your bookmarks to be told when a new chapter is posted via email! (or don't...be shady like that live ur best life)


	3. I Couldn’t Think Of A Clever Title So This Is Called: The One Where Brian’s Eyesight Still Sucks But It Wont Soon Because Of A Thing Called: The Miracle Of Surgery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You read the title, right? If not, do that. You don’t need anything else but that just read the fucking chapter.

They got up around five o'clock in the morning because neither of them could sleep. They didn’t have to be at the hospital until one o'clock so they took time to shave Brian's face, then Roger’s own, and then sat in the living room in the early morning silence.

They held hands in the mellow luminosity of the sunrise, uneasy fingers running over and over bone and vein exhibiting through pale skin. Words didn’t seem to want to come; like they were held in the throats of both men from the stress dam in their vocal cords.

Brian was the first to move since they’d sat down nearly an hour after they’d shaved together. He reclined his head on Roger’s lap and folded his long legs into the edge of the sofa, having to tuck his knees into his chest just to fit.

Roger’s fingers automatically went to the crown of his boyfriend's head and he ran through the bush of curly hair. Brian sighed in ease and closed his eyes. He kissed the bare skin where Roger’s boxers ended on his upper thigh. The fabric was fitting against the skin and he smiled at the warmth he felt.

The thin layer of hair rose when he kissed it again and ran his palm over the spot where he’d pressed his lips. Roger hummed in pleasure and raised Brian's shirt to his shoulders where he ran his nails over his back.

Brian couldn’t help the yawn that came through him, nor could he help when he closed his eyes and began to fall asleep on Roger’s lap with the feeling of his back being scratched continuing.

* * *

Brian didn’t move when Roger got up and went to pack the car with Pac-Man to help. He was trained to assist around the home when Roger wasn’t near so he helped carry bags in his mouth and on his back, gladly taking them to the car and returning for more. 

They would be at the hospital for a week or two, but Roger packed for three weeks in case anything went wrong. He wore the outfit Brian loved for him to wear, the one with the soft sleeves and cologne that Roger said matched. The outfit didn’t match whatsoever but it was textured and Brian’s first words when he ‘saw’ Roger in it was that he adored it, so he wore it often. 

The shirt was a navy blue with bell sleeves, pink stitching skirting the edges of the billowing opening to said sleeve. The trousers were nothing special; white and plain with four buttons down the middle. They were a little long for him and despite not being high waisted, they were on him. He looked like he just sprang out of Austin Powers but if Brian liked it then he would wear it for all eternity.

Brian was still on the sofa sleeping when the car was fully parked and Pac-Man was in his service vest with the handle on it so the brunette could hold onto it instead of using a leash; it helped with control and also so he would have a closer distance to the canine in the case he wrapped the leash around something.

Brian nearly broke his nose when he made the mistake of using a leash in a grocery store. Pac-Man had wrapped himself around the wheels of the cart and that caused Brian to tumble into the metal bars, efficiently giving Roger a heart attack.

Now sitting on the sofa as gently as he could, he ran fingers down the back of his lover’s shirt who twitched for a moment before inhaling deeply and reaching his hand out for Roger to take, which he did. 

“Are you ready?” Roger inquired quietly.

“Mhm.”

“I packed everything up, you just gotta go get dressed. Wear something comfortable.”

Brian smiled and ran his hands over his face to wipe away some of the post-nap tiredness. He rolled to his back and stretched his legs over the arm of the couch and his arms over Roger who had to lean to give him room.

“Okay, I’m gonna get dressed,” Brian said yet he didn’t move. Roger waited forever for him to move but he still remained where he sat.

“Brian I’m still here.”

“I’m aware.”

“You haven’t moved.”

“I’m aware.”

“Is it because you’re nervous?”

“I’m petrified.”

Roger made an ‘ah’ and pat his hand over Brian’s forehead. “We talked about this, Bri.”

He frowned and crossed his arms in physical response. “Are you gonna be upset if I have doubts?”

“No, never. I had doubts at first too. You know this is your choice, Bri. If you don’t want the surgery, you don’t have to get it.”

He shook his head. “I want it, I do. I’m just nervous. I don’t want it to hurt.”

“Is that all you’re nervous about?”

“I’m still a little nervous about losing my sight completely.”

Roger ran his hands over Brian’s cheeks and massaged over his cheekbones. He didn’t even mind at the moment, he just accepted the weird form of affection. “Listen, it’ll be alright. You can talk the doctor's ears off the whole time if you want, or you could blank out and listen to that German folk metal. It’ll be alright.”

Brian laughed and slapped Rogers hands away from his face before sitting up and standing with another stretch. “Whatever. It’ll be okay, right?”

“Right!”

Brian clapped his hands and for a moment, his fear flooded out and confidence filled him. Even when he got dressed he was fearless. He got to wear sweats and an old T-shirt with a washed-out cereal logo on the front with his sandals; it was the most comfortable thing he had and that was a comfort to wear.

The drive to the hospital was upbeat and festive, Pac-Man rested beneath Brian’s feet and Roger kept the conversation away from the thing heavy on both of their minds. 

As soon as Brian got out of the car, the dog following him close behind, he was practically tackled by, who he clearly knew, was Freddie followed by John.

“Aren’t you so excited!?” Freddie squealed in his ear. “Oh, of course, you are! How could you not be!? You’re gonna be seeing everything soon!”

Brian had no room to answer because then John wrapped his arms around his neck and squeezed until he felt a touch dizzy.

“I can't wait for you to see us!” John told simply before letting go. Freddie, on the other hand, did not and continued to squeeze the life out of him until he had to gasp for air. Roger was the one who had to pry him off of his neck after Brian went a little purple.

“He won’t have anything to see with if you strangle him to death, Fred,” Roger said with a laugh. Freddie clearly wanted to go right back to hugging his friend but he resisted.

“You can’t blame me! He’s just so soft and this is the best reason to hug him!” 

They all stared at Freddie and he crossed his arms with a frown. “Fine but don’t be stupid enough to think that I’m not cuddling with him when he’s out of surgery.”

That was a decent point so they descended into the hospital. Freddie, John, and Roger didn’t quiet down for even a moment. Perhaps it was because they were nervous but Brian decided to stop talking for the same reason, there was nothing he could say that would add to the conversation. 

A nurse met them in a waiting room and Brian was taken aback with Roger attached to his hand to be given preoperative eye drops that made his pupils expand. They were huge, and Roger furrowed his brow when he saw them after they fully expanded but didn’t say anything past the physical action.

Freddie was less private with his reaction. As soon as he saw Brian, he grabbed his face and said, “Goddamn your pupils are huge!”

Which, yes, Brian knew that. He was told that would happen before he put the eye drops in.

“Yes, Freddie, I’m aware,” Brian responded with a blank expression.

Freddie took him, still glued to his face, and pushed him forward. “John, look!” 

John, being about as amused as Brian currently was, slapped Freddie’s hands away to free their friend from the prison of hands he was engulfed in. “He’s well aware his pupils are big, you nut!”

Roger took hold of Brian’s hand again and kissed the top of his hand to which the brunette smiled at while his eyes were toward the floor. His cheeks flushed pink and Roger smiled when his hand was squeezed affectionately.

“So are you ready for sight?” John asked, plucking a stray hair from Brian’s shoulder.

“As ready as I can be.”

“You don’t seem terribly excited.”

Brian shrugged. “Not terribly excited to have someone cutting my eyes open. Not excited to sit in a hospital with bandages over my face.”

Freddie popped in this time; “Why do you have to stay here in the first place? They normally let you go home, no?” 

“They’re doing a more invasive operation than what they’d give someone with regular cataracts. Mine are an extreme case, most people can still see. I got lucky,” He smiled and nodded as he lectured, a laugh to end his sentence. “So they need to make sure my eyes don’t...Like, explode or something.”

The oldest gasped and put both hands on Brian’s chest. “My goodness! Can that really happen!?”

Roger smacked him over the head with a thunk. “No, you tuna roll, it can’t happen. They need to make sure they didn’t fuck him up more, and the risk of infection is there too so they need to make sure he doesn’t get one.”

“Did you just call me a tuna roll?”

Roger shrugged and let go of Brian’s hand when Freddie slapped him over the head in response to his sushi comment. Brian stood there, lips pressed into a line, and heard as his boyfriend and best friend beat the hell out of each other in a hospital waiting room while John sighed at least six times. 

With both of their hands up in defensive poses, they stepped away from each other incredibly slowly just in case the other made a move of attack again.

“Truce?” Freddie asked guardedly.

“Truce,” Roger replied. “For now…”

They both gave each other side-glances before taking their partners hands.

“You two are so fucking stupid. The first thing I see better not be you two going at it like children.”

Roger grinned and stretched up to give Brian a kiss. “I’ll make sure it is, just so you can say that it’s the first thing you saw.”

“Dick.”

“You love me.”

“I kind of have to; I've memorized the layout of our house.”

Roger squinted. “You love me for more than that!”

“Oh yeah,” He said, getting a smile from Roger. “Also the sex is great.”

“See? Much better,” Roger grinned and hummed in satisfaction.

“What do you love me for?” Freddie asked with eyes batting affectionately as he leaned into John who didn’t look up.

“Because you’re rich.”

Freddie gasped.

“And,” John said. “I’m afraid that if I leave you, you’ll hire a hitman and kill me.”

“Awww you know me so well, love!” Freddie squeaked before wrapping his arms around John's head who laughed and kissed his blushing cheek.

Their good times were interrupted with a doctor, the same woman from before, coming in and calling Brian’s name. 

Brian must have squeezed Roger's hand too hard because he heard a hiss and felt his arm twitch despite the fact that he didn’t move.

“Sorry,” Brian said quietly as they moved. It felt like he was simply floating there and not the own will of his limbs taking him. “Too tight?”

“No, no. You’re okay. Squeeze as much as you want, Bri.”

John and Freddie were quiet as they walked, the only sound he could hear was of their boots tapping against the tile floor.

“Okay,” The nurse said. “We’re going to do put you into your room and, Brian, you’re gonna come with me so we can get you ready. After, we’ll take you back here to be with your friends, how does that sound?”

“Sounds okay.”

She smiled and patted him on the shoulder, making sure she didn’t brush against Pac-Man who was loyally walking by his side.

The room was quite small but it was comfortable enough for the four of them, five including the dog. Brian stepped around the unfamiliar room and Roger pointed out things that could get in his way so he would be okay to walk once out of surgery.

The doctor waited patiently by the door but when he was finished looking, he took both of Roger’s hands and kissed him with a worried expression. A hand was brought to his face and he pressed into it.

“It’ll be okay,” Roger smiled. “And I’ll see you after.”

“We’ll see you too, love.”

Brian smiled and nodded, picking up the handle for Pac-Man’s vest, and finally stepped out of the room. 

He was a ball of neurotic energy. His fingers tapped against the side of his thigh and handle of the vest and he bit into his lip painfully while they walked together. 

Clearly being afraid, the doctor rubbed his shoulder once again and quietly asked; “Would you like something for the anxiety, Mr.May?”

He sighed with the tension beginning to liquify. “God, that sounds amazing.”

So he was given a few tablets of something he couldn’t pronounce nor remember the name of. By the time he was in the operating room, in a bed that crunched once he sat down, he was completely relaxed and could hardly think of what was about to happen. Mind blank, he was spoken to and since it was quite clear he was a mile away, he was only asked yes or no questions to make it as simple as possible.

“These are eye drops to numb you up,” A male voice said. “Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“This is a paper drape for your face. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” And a paper drape came down on his face.

"And we're going to pull your hair back into this," The doctor brushed a hair-net against Brian's hand and the sensation tickled against his flesh. His hair was tucked back into a ponytail which then was pulled into the net, but he didn't mind. Not that he was thinking three-dimensionally in the first place.

“And you’re just going to look right here for me,” The male said while taking his chin and moving it straight. A light was right in his eyes but he couldn’t tell, so the doctor continued.

The speaking stopped and when people began to speak again, and a mechanical sound began, the nervousness still hadn’t returned.

He hardly noticed when the surgery actually began. Music, classical piano, played behind him and he lay patiently waiting for the surgery to begin despite it already having begun.

Brian couldn’t tell how much time had passed when he heard tools bumping against one another followed by the same male voice from before saying; “Emulsifying first lense.”

With a slurred and drowsy voice, he said: “What’s that?”

“Breaking up the lense.”

He wanted to nod but hands pressed against the sides of his head and he took the hint which was obviously to stop moving and be quiet. With his question, they dropped most of the medical talk and began making it more clear for him to understand.

“Breaking the second lense,” The doctor said. Brian felt a pang of excitement through the haziness of his body.

“And now we’re going to begin taking them out. Give us a thumbs up or thumbs down for how you’re feeling, Mr.May.”

So, Brian gave a thumbs up and they continued. 

He wasn’t expecting perfect twenty-twenty vision, but he did expect more than he got once the surgery was deemed over. Nothing looked different, and the thought almost brought him to tears if his eyes weren’t already quite watery from the eye drops they continued to give him.

“It went perfectly, Mr.May. Textbook surgery; how do you feel?”

Brian frowned. “Nothing is different.”

“That’s perfectly normal. It won’t be until you have time to rest,” He said while Brian was sat up wearily. “And have time to get used to intraocular lenses. For now, we’ll put dressings over your eyes and we will bring your service dog back in the room to guide you.”

Brian lifted his hair and tucked the curls behind his ears after removing the hair-net to help the doctors wrap the bandages around his face. It only covered his eyes and despite the numbing medication, the places where he could feel dull pressure from the needles and tools felt strange. 

Still slurring and out of it, Brian stood and exhaled wearily when his feet connected to the ground. He was taken out of the room and into another room that smelled like hand sanitizer more strongly than the rest of the hospital before being sat down in a padded chair to wait for the rest of the men to be alerted of his completion.

It didn’t take long for the rest of the men to get there, and when they stepped in they saw Brian looking as if he’d fallen asleep. His head was tucked into his palm that pressed against the side of his head to keep his head up and he wasn’t making any sounds or indications he knew what was happening around him.

Roger stepped forward and bent to the ground with a hand running over Brian’s knee, getting a loopy smile that made them aware he wasn’t asleep, just sluggish. 

“Hey baby, how do you feel?” Roger asked quietly.

“Tired,” Brian replied heavily.

“I’m sure you are. Was it as cool as you imagined?”

Brian nodded. “Didn’t hurt.”

He smiled up at his partner and kissed his leg. “I’m so glad, Bri. Freddie and John are here too.”

Both men made sounds and Brian waved groggily at them while attempting to somehow find them through his bandages.

“They must have given you some good drugs, huh?” Freddie asked with a suppressed giggle.

“Mhm,” Brian confirmed. “M’very relaxed,” To prove his point, he sighed and dropped his shoulders that he didn’t realize were so tense.

“When will the stitches come out?” Roger asked, now facing away from Brian but keeping his hand on his knee. 

“Only a few days,” The doctor replied with a smile. “He’ll have an IV once he can return to his room to ease any discomfort he may have.”

“Oh,” Brian said sulkingly. “Will it hurt?” 

“Just a pinch,” Roger said over the woman. He pinched Brian’s hand and he wiggled under the pressure. “That’ll be it.”

Brian nodded and yawned heavily with a hand sloppily running over his face until Roger took his hand and squeezed it. 

“Let’s not touch, okay?” Roger said cooley. 

“Why?” 

“It might hurt you, you don’t want that.”

That made sense so he nodded. Clicking sounds on the hard floor began and Pac-Man rested his head on Brian’s legs with a sigh himself. Brian went right into petting his head and he smiled upon feeling the puffy texture of his face.

“‘M very tired,” Brian said wearily. “Is there somewhere I can lay down?”

“Not yet, but you can rest your head on my shoulder if that would help.”

Brian nodded and Roger sat in a chair next to him. He rested his head down on the shoulder of the blonde just as he said he would and since he had bandages over his face, no one could tell if he was sleeping or simply sitting and relaxing. Up until he began to breathe heavily they thought he was only sitting.

“Is he alright?” Freddie whispered as he leaned in across the small room.

“He’s fine. He’s just a bit loopy.”

“Well, I can see that,” Freddie smiled and looked over his friend who was resting. “When will he be able to see?”

Roger shrugged gently. “Soon enough. Maybe a week or so.”

Both John and Freddie buzzed with excitement. 

“So, he’s gonna have well off vision, right? Not like you?” John laughed and Freddie held his tongue. Roger rolled his eyes.

“Oh shut up. He’s gonna have the vision he has, I don’t know if it’ll be perfect but he’ll be able to see.”

Freddie pat his lap and Pac-Man stepped over before crawling into his lap halfway given his size. “You’re gonna be a good, normal doggy soon, Pac-Man. You won’t need to guide your friend anymore, no you won’t!”

“Well, he’s still a service dog,” Roger said with a look to Brian. “He still has seizures. Can’t really fix those.”

“Oh, that’s right. Well, he won’t have Brian bumping into walls and cursing at him for getting in his way so that’s a bonus.”

They all nodded.

Brian must have been stirred awake by the conversation because he breathed in and rubbed his forehead against Roger’s shoulder with a heavy breath out. He was hardly asleep half an hour so the fogginess still remained in his body from the medications he took.

“Well good morning, sleepy!” Freddie said cheerfully.

“Where’s Roger?” Brian asked stiffly, nearly upset.

“Right here,” He put his hand out and took Brian’s. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

He seemed irritated and the three could tell based on his flat tone and lack of interesting answers.

Roger put his hand on the side of Brian’s head and stroked through the hair. “Are you alright, Bri?”

“Are Freddie and John here?”

“Mhm.”

“Can they leave for a minute?”

Roger looked over to Freddie and John and they both looked at each other in confusion. He made a sweeping motion to the door and mouthed; ‘_one moment _’. With that, they left and Rogers focus went back to Brian who had leaned away from his boyfriend.

“What’s going on, Brian?”

“It didn’t work,” He answered thickly with a slight slur; Roger worried he would begin crying with how heavy his voice came out. “I still couldn’t see.”

Roger rubbed his thigh and frowned. “Baby you didn’t have time to heal, you’ve just had it.”

Exactly what he was afraid of, Brian sniffled. “You said it would be better afterwards.”

“You had a special kind of operation, Bri. You aren’t gonna see for a few days, okay? It didn’t fail, it just hasn’t had time to work. I think you’re worked up because you’re tired and can’t lay down, yeah?”

Brian nodded and his arms crossed. “I suppose.”

“Anything I can do to help?”

He shook his head.

“Not even a hug?”

Brian paused in thought and shifted his body towards Roger who smiled and wrapped himself around his boyfriend. He’d calmed down enough to relax and Roger was glad for that, he would be more glad when he was able to rest and have an IV in him to help with the discomfort that would come after his medication he was currently on wore off.

For now, he just wanted to enjoy hugging his boyfriend who looked a little bit like daredevil in the best way possible. 


	4. Just A Few More Days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is getting antsy.

Brian was getting antsy being in the hospital and it was getting incredibly obvious. 

His frustrations were pushed down as far as he could get them to avoid a fight with any of his friends but it was getting exhausting to sit back and fake a smile and pretend like his blood wasn’t boiling.

If someone touched him, even Roger, he wiggled out of it as quickly as he could because even the smallest touch provoked him. 

He couldn’t leave the building, he couldn’t walk around, and he could do anything he wanted. It was torture sitting in that bed waiting for sight to come when his eyes burned when he blinked behind the bandages and he had vicious doubts of the surgery working at all.

No matter how many exciting talks about going out to see the world Freddie, John, and Roger had near him, he just grit his teeth and tried to block them out. There was still a risk of infection. A risk that the cataracts had damaged more than just his lenses. A risk that he would still be blind after the removal of the foggy lenses.

The breaking point in his frustration was when he was standing to use the bathroom and he somehow managed to tug out his IV through the tape that was supposed to be keeping it down. 

Brian hissed in agony and when he cupped his hand to the top of his other, he felt heated wetness meet his palm. Based on the reaction he heard and the way he was pushed back in bed, it must have torn the flesh. The pain was humble but turned into an fervent throbbing when toilet paper was held to the top of the injury by Roger.

“You gotta be more careful, Bri,” He said with a voice bursting with concern that grated on Brian’s nerves. “You could have ripped your vein.”

“Well I can’t fucking see, now can I? Can’t be bloody careful if I can’t even fucking see what’s around me.”

The room was stiff and even Brian could tell. He didn’t exactly care, gritting his teeth and turning his jaw; he was frustrated.

Roger could tell too and he unhelpfully asked; “Brian what’s your issue?”

“Like you don’t know,” Brian scoffed. “You all get to laugh and fuck around in the this bloody room and I have to sit here waiting to find out if I made one of the worst mistakes of my life- wonder if I’ve just ruined everything I had.”

“Brian-“

“No, Rog, no. I can't even eat lunch by myself. It’s pathetic.”

“You’ve always needed help with certain things, Brian. Why is it bothering you now?”

“This is different.”

“How?”

“Because I want to see already.”

“You need-“

“Don’t tell me I need to fucking heal or I’ll find the window and leap out of it.”

Roger pulled the toilet paper away and some of the paper stuck to his skin, yanking the dried blood away when he pulled which made Brian wince with another hiss.

“Well, as soon as you can see we’ll all fuck right off and you can eat as many lunches as you want all by yourself,” Said Roger with a smile and a kiss to the injury on Brian’s hand. “And I know this is taking longer than you’d like. It’s been three days and nothing. It’ll happen and soon enough it’ll feel like a lifetime since you couldn’t see.”

Brian nodded but he wasn’t completely at ease. He still wanted to yank his hand away from his boyfriend but he resisted the urge as to not seem like a cock.

“I’m tired of being here. I want to go home.”

Roger understood and he showed it by crawling into the bed to sit by his lover, putting his head on his shoulder. “I know. Few more days.”

“Where’s Pax?” 

“On Freddie and John’s laps.”

Brian laid down and patted his chest. Pac-Man jumped onto the bed and rested on top of his owner’s chest which made him smile. He wrapped his arms around the dog's body and squeezed as tight as he could without hurting him. 

“Just a few more days.”


	5. Life In Color

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian's got eyes, bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ive been busy with my main fic Drowse on this same account so yall should check that out. it seems really long but i promise it doesnt get boring uwu  
ty guys for the support with this series !!!  
<3   
my tumblr if yall wanna talk is FeederMercury

Just a few more days became a mantra.

Just a few more days, Brian said when he would feel his eyes burn behind the fabric covering them.

Just a few more days, Brian would say when he had to remove the bandages and hear the curious hm’s and huh’s of the doctors and friends alike; mostly from the fact that both of his eyes were watering, red, and lightly bruised around the edges.

His frustration from the fact that nothing was going quite as fast enough for him only worsened with time. Within the next week of his sitting and doing nothing it really began to irritate him in a new way where instead of anger that he pushed on his friends, he instead decided to remain silent.  That really got under Roger’s skin in a concerning way. 

He was really the only person Brian would talk to even for a second and fundamentally the sole person he would allow to take him to the bathroom and other rooms for examinations.

Now on his second and a half week in, he was asleep past noon. 

Roger, Freddie, and John were outside of the room, far more excited than he was even when he was asleep, and were busy speaking to the woman who had been Brian's doctor in the past weeks who did most of his exams and took care of him even when he was a bit of a prat from his foul mood; Doctor Snow.

Roger was basically an inch away from the doctors face while Freddie and John were pressed against the wall with hands over their mouths to mute themselves from the excitement that was bound to seep out and wake Brian up even through the door.

“Today? Like, today?” Roger demanded from the woman in front of him who was attempting to get farther away from him. “No, don’t say- what am I saying? Yes, answer me! Today?”

“Yes, Mr.Taylor, today.” 

“Wait,” Roger gasped. His hands went to his knees and he bent over with a huff of air like he was going to pass out. Maybe he was, was he? Oh _god_. “I’m gonna pass out.”

Freddie turned from his place in the wall and pat Roger on the back in a supportive way that was mostly not wanting Roger to embarrass him by passing out in the hallway of a hospital. Even though that would be the best place to do so, he didn’t want that to happen.

“No, no, you’re not going to do that because I’ll have to kill you,” He warned which got him a confused glare from Doctor Snow. “You have to go tell Brian, now get up.” Freddie put his arms around Roger’s waist and picked him up a few inches off the floor, surprising practically everyone, to put him in front of the door that he opened for him so he could push him in.

Brian was sat up in bed, his head turned away from the door and towards the bathroom where he was particularly distracted with unravelling the blanket Roger had bought him by picking the thread he had tugged loose.

“Roger?” Brian asked the room. His voice was thick with sleep and confusion, moving his head towards the sounds of shoes squeaking against the tile floors while his friends entered. Another sound of metallic squeaking caught his attention as well. 

“Hey, baby,” Roger sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around Brian’s arm like a hug which thoroughly confused Brian. “Are you awake?”

“Well, yes. I am. I’m speaking to you, aren’t I?”

“Okay, smartypants, I meant are you awake enough to get up? Go on a little adventure?”

“Bloodwork or a walk around the hospital?” Brian asked flatly. It hardly sounded like a question, more like an unentertained sentence. 

“Neither,” Roger said with a smile which got Brian’s attention. “How about we...Metaphorically...Go see- Yeah let’s go see!” To him, it made sense why he could end his sentence there but to Brian, who wasn’t a mind reader, it made no sense.

“What are you talking about?”

“You know? See- okay we’re gonna have your first eye exam today.”

Brian, who hadn’t been very expressive active in days, shot out of his sitting position and folded his legs under his torso to get closer to Roger who was only inches away from him now. “You’re serious?”

“Dead se-” Roger couldn’t finish his words because just as suddenly, Brian’s hand was on his face searching for his lips and the next thing he knew he was laying down with his boyfriend on top of him attacking him for kisses.

Eyes wide open while the brunette tried to get him to open his lips by licking at them, Roger laughed while trying to get him to slow down. “Hey-” He mumbled. “We aren’t alone! There’s like four people in here!”

Brian didn’t care. He couldn’t care less. It was only when his IV stand yanked forward from his arms tugging did he break away to get it closer but Roger used his distraction to get him to cool off for a second instead of practically fucking him in front of both his friends, his doctor, and a nurse who had a wheelchair ready for him.

“We can do that when you can see me, okay?” Roger took his hand, the one not attached to a machine, and pat it. He watched Brian break out into a smile that he hadn’t seen since they’d left their house. “But right now we have to actually go to the exam room, yeah?”

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed Brian ran his hands across the fabric of his hospital given pants. He heard the squeaking from earlier return and an unfamiliar pair of hands took him by the wrists to help him stand. He didn’t question it since no one was telling him not to reject the help and in a moment he was sitting in what he knew was a wheelchair.

Someone else pat his thighs and given the number of rings the hands had on them, it had to be Freddie. Not to mention the fact he could hear him breathing. And perhaps crying.

“Where’s Pax?” Brian asked, moving his hands to the floor on either side of the chair to see if he was by his side. 

Roger pat his head and hummed. “He’s in the room. We took him earlier cause he kept trying to get in bed with you.”

Brian smiled at that thought. He probably fussed at the fact Roger wasn’t allowing him to get into bed with him but it was probably for the best since he needed sleep and Pac-Man was guaranteed to want to get on top of him and shove his head under his chin to get comfortable.

Everyone was in the room before Brian knew it. Being sightless makes things like travel a lot faster or a lot slower, and with the excitement, it was much faster. The small room was cramped and bright but the lights were lowered before anyone could think of taking off his bandages so he wouldn’t either have a seizure from the shock or go blind again.

“I’m afraid we can only have one other person in the room with Brian while we do this,” Doctor Snow said apologetically, looking to Freddie and John.

“Aw,” Freddie said with a frown. John didn’t mind as much but he did look somewhat disappointed. “Well, we will  _ see  _ you after you get out of here, hm?” Brian nodded and to finish the deal before they left, Freddie kissed the top of his head.

Now the room had four occupants including a dog who was laying under Doctor Snow’s chair. In front of him, mostly untouched but some chewed on, was a pile of doggy bones and treats that had to be gifted to him for being a cute, cooperative boy from almost everyone on the hospital staff who saw him while his owner was collected.

“Okay, so your eyes might still be a little sensitive,” She said while clacking on a computer monitor. “But if all is well, you should be able to see.”

Brian’s heart jumped into his throat at the mention. Roger was just as excited as he was, obviously, and squeezed his hand with the enthusiasm he needed to release before he exploded. 

“Okay, should we start?”

Brian nodded frantically and Roger couldn’t help but inhale with excitement and nervousness Doctor Snow moved forward, making sure she didn’t run the German Sheppard under the chair over, and placed both of her hands on Brian’s face. The rubber gloves covering her hands were warm and comforting but the tension in the room put him on edge.

“I’m just gonna begin undoing the bandages. If anything hurts tell me.”

“What will hurt?” Roger whispered.

“He’ll be sensitive to light and opening his eyes might take a moment.”

Brian sat as still as he could for someone who wanted to bounce off the walls in nervous energy while the bandage was slowly removed. Once off, he was instructed to open his eyes. It was just as difficult as he’d thought and he could hardly pry his eyes open before Doctor Snow was helping, returning her hands to his face.

“Relax,” She said. “And look down.”

Brian looked down and his eyes were opened. 

At first, nothing was different. When he looked down at where his lap should have been, he saw dark blurs. With confusion, he looked up and saw something. Something, however, was better than nothing. He was seeing something, even if he was squinting!

“Does anything hurt?”

Brian shook his head and the motion knocked him into a less blurry vision. Shaking it again, things began to clear up. 

There were sounds from the chair his doctor was sitting on, but he wasn’t going to be sure that it was her until she spoke again which she did and his mind was practically blown.

“Woah,” He mumbled. A gasp caught his attention and he looked to his right where another person was sitting. Gentle facial features met his gaze and he burst out into a smile when he realized, with much enthusiasm, that it was his boyfriend. “Roger?”

Roger, who was more mind blown than Brian was, sat back in his chair and wiped a hand across his forehead. “Oh god, I’m gonna pass out.”

“What?”

“Yep.”

He did exactly as promised and the next thing Brian ever saw was his boyfriend slumping against the wall with his eyes closing. 

“Well,” Brian said in confusion. “That- I don’t- okay. Do we do something?"

Doctor Snow couldn’t hold back a laugh at Roger’s reaction and that brought his attention back to her. She was also gentle, her features soft and light. She smiled at him and he smiled back. "I think he'll be okay.  I’m Doctor Snow,” She put her hand out for Brian to shake and kept it there while he stared at it.

Shaking her hand was more complicated than he’d expected. First, his eyes caught the attention of his hand which was something he’d never seen before. She understood his curiosity and kept her hand out for when he eventually got to her. 

Reaching for her hand now, he missed. He missed the second time and by the third, she just took his hand in her own to help him out.

Shaking hands is a lot weirder when you can see your hands and you just learned what hands look like.

“What is that?” Brian suddenly asked, eyes pointed at the object under the chair she was in. “It’s moving, what is it?”

“Oh!” Doctor Snow exclaimed. “That would be a very special boy.”

The object crawled out from under her chair and went to Brian's side. Instinctively he moved away from it, not understanding what it was or why it was near him, but the familiar smell and feel of the thing made him gasp when he realized it was his dog. 

“Oh my god! Pac-Man!” He squealed with his hands going to the dogs face. “You’re so fucking scary!” Looking at his teeth, in particular, he looked terrifying. “I thought he was going to be cute. Everyone always tells me how cute he is…”

“You’ll think he’s cute later,” His doctor said with a smile. “Oh, and I think Mr.Taylor is waking up.”

Pretty much had forgotten about Roger, Brian perked back up and shoved his hand into Pac-mans collar so he wouldn’t run off before he got less scary and more cute. Roger was indeed waking up, and when he opened his eyes again he smiled with excitement.

“This hospital sucks I bet you didn't even try to help me, Doctor Snow," Roger frowned.

"Well, fainting isn't exactly an emergency."

Roger stared at his boyfriend's doctor and nodded slowly to let her know she'd won that battle. For now. Now turning his attention back to Brian, he saw that his hand was on Pac-Man and he realized with great joy that he had seen him for the first time. " You got to see Pax, huh? Isn’t he sweet?”

“Uh, not what I thought but sure.”

“Don’t be mean to him!” Roger crawled onto the floor and covered the dogs' ears. To Brian, he looked a million miles away. “He’s sensitive.”

That was definitely Roger speaking to him. And looking at him. And he was looking at Roger. Now  _ he _ might faint.

Ignoring the dog, Brian smiled dreamily. “You’re so… Pretty.”

Roger threw the blonde hair that fell in front of his chest over his shoulder and smiled. “Well I know, but thank you. You’re not bad yourself.”

“Shut up.”

“Maybe we should go out sometime, Bri.”

“Shut up don’t ruin the moment.”

Roger grinned and put his hands on Brian’s lap. He looked down at them in interest and saw how long his fingers were compared to his own. Brian’s were longer and thinner, but Roger’s were clammy and shaking.

He didn’t know what to do now that he was seeing Roger for the first time. He knew he liked what he was seeing, but what was he seeing? With a hand going to the top of Roger’s head, he pressed his thumbs over his forehead.

“What is this?”

“Forehead.”

“And these?”

“My eyes.”

“What’s this?”

“Nose.”

Brian stuck his thumbs on either side of Roger’s jaw and pried his mouth open. Roger allowed it, but furrowed his brow when he stuck both of his thumbs into his mouth to force them over his teeth.

“What are these?” Brian asked curiously.

Muffled, Roger said; “Teef.”

“Teeth?” He licked his own in his mouth. They felt different than Roger’s did. He only then realized he’d never seen himself. “Can I, uh,” He asked shyly, looking around the room while he wiped the saliva from his hands. “Have a mirror?”

“Of course you can,” Doctor Snow said happily. “One moment.” She went through her desk drawer and pulled a round mirror from her items. She must have gotten the question multiple times before so the mirror was quite large, large enough to fit enough of a face without needing to squint.

He now holds the key to knowing what he looked like for the first time in his life, and yet he was hesitant. What if he disliked what he saw? Or what if he was ugly? It sounds shallow, but he was scared.

“Wait, I don’t know,” He frowned and covered the mirror with his hand. “I don’t know if I want to know. Seeing you and Roger is getting overwhelming.”

Doctor Snow nodded understandingly. “Well, that mirror is yours until you want to use it. No rush, it’s up to you. Now, let’s do some tests to see how we’ll proceed.”

Brian was set in the rolling chair and pushed far into the corner of the room. He had a view of everything inside of the area but he didn’t know what he was looking at. Helpfully, Roger kept whispering the things that caught his gaze. If he looked at the door, Roger would say it. If his attention caught the dog again, Roger would say it. He wanted to make sure Brian knew he wasn’t surrounded by anything confusing and it truly helped make it less scary for his first time seeing things, especially things that were big or made a sound.

Doctor Snow straightened his head and shined a flashlight in his eyes, forcing him to squint in pain. “Good, She mentioned. “Pupils dilating.”  He had never seen a person so close to him before and she was honestly quite beautiful. Not as beautiful as Roger, but she was very pretty. “Your eyes are brown, by the way.”

“Brown?” Brian asked. “Roger told me they were white.”

“They were white because of the cataracts. White isn’t a color, brown is like the feeling of bark, remember?”

“Uh-huh, I do. They have a color now?”

“Yep, brown.”

“Is it a good color?”

“It looks amazing.”

Brian, who was ignoring his doctor from his short attention span, leaned into Roger who had sat closer to him. “Your eyes are blue, right?”

Roger smiled and his eyes crinkled at the edges so Brian touched the lines. “They are blue, baby.”

“It’s beautiful, my new favourite color. Oh, I have a favourite color!”

“My eyes are green, Mr.May,” Doctor Snow said and got Brian’s attention. Her eyes were indeed green but seeing that this was the first time he’d ever seen anything like it, he didn’t quite understand what green was.

Back to getting his attention, Snow positioned his head towards an item hung on the wall. “This is an eye chart,” She explained. “Tell me if you can see the _black_ shapes on the _white_, _square_ chart.”

All of these new things he’d only heard of made his head swim. “I can see it.”

“Now, let's see how your depth perception is,” The woman stood and took Brians hands to get him into the same standing position. She was much shorter than him but she looked a million miles away. “I’m going to step back, and we’re going to approach each other and shake hands. Do you know how to shake my hand?”

Brian did, but he didn’t think he liked standing that much anymore. He felt dizzy and all he wanted to do was lay down on the floor so he wouldn’t feel how a sighted person does on a roller coaster.  Doctor Snow backed away from him into the other side of the room but he couldn’t possibly stand any longer without being sick.

“Are you okay?” Roger asked, tugging at his hand when he noticed how strange of an expression Brian had on his face.

“I need to sit- lay-“ He sunk to the floor and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to follow Roger in fainting and put his head between his legs with a huff rushing through his lungs that steadied him. Something furry brushed against him and he put his hand against Pac-Man’s side.

Roger now sat in front of him with hands running over his body frantically in concern. “Are you gonna have a seizure? Is it your head? Brian-“

“I just need a minute.”

“Can we go back to our room?”

Doctor Snow returned to her desk and pulled a blindfold from her desk. It was embroidered with the hospital logo and she handed it out to Roger who slid it over Brian’s head for him. Despite just having sight for the first time in his entire life, he was relieved to be blind again. 

“He did a lot for today, and it made a base to see how we can proceed. Really good today, Mr.May.”

“Thanks, uh, wheelchair?” 

“Of course.”

The wheelchair was outside of the room and when they opened the door, Freddie and John were anxiously waiting to see what had happened. Seeing Brian with a sleeping mask over his eyes was more than confusing and concerning and they pushed into the room when they realized the examination was over.

“Is he okay?” Freddie asked in deep worry. “Did it...Go okay?”

“He’s just feeling overwhelmed, he did really well. He saw me, saw Snow, and he saw Pax for the first time,” Roger explained with the excitement toned down into a more flat tone. “It was a lot for a day.”

John took Brian’s side and something he’d said made Brian smile and pat his friend on the head in a well-mannered way which was a good sign for his condition emotionally.

He was helped into the wheelchair he’d come in and when he was back to his room the first thing he did was lay face down in bed with a muffled moan of ecstasy from his body being able to relax.

“Good exam?” Freddie said. He sat on the bed and ran his hands over Brian’s back.

“Great, actually.”

“Uh-huh. Let’s cut to the chase, when will you be able to see me and John?”

He laughed into his pillow and shifted to his back. “Give me ten minutes.”

So, they gave him ten minutes. Freddie counted practically every minute so he could hold it to him but the moment he reached six minutes, Brian shifted to his side and wrapped his arms around the blankets he’d pushed off of himself when he left. 

The rest of the men looked at one another and Roger was the one to lift the sleeping mask from his lovers face to see if he was awake or asleep, and he was certainly asleep.

“Probably dreaming in color,” Roger commented with a smile. He tucked the blankets over his shoulder up under his chin and turned out the lights then closed the blinds to give him as much peace as he could. “Can you imagine seeing a dog for the first time? At twenty-three no less. He saw color for the first time today- me for the first time.”

“He saw you first?” John asked.

“No, he saw the doctor first. I passed out.”

John and Freddie stared at a blushing Roger dumbstruck. Freddie leaned forward on his knees and squinted. “You passed out?”

Roger flapped his hands in the air with exasperation. “Well! You haven’t been dating a blind guy for three years! It was a beautiful moment- oh, shut up.”

Now with the moment over, they all looked at their friend. Pac-Man did exactly what they’d thought he did and jumped up on the bed to get under Brian’s arm, whining when he didn’t move for him immediately. Brian moved his arm in a few seconds of the whining and nosing and the dog shuffled underneath him to stick his nose right in his face and sleep. He clearly didn’t care if his owner could breathe or not, just that he was comfortable because he certainly could not breathe with dog hair and wet dog nose in his face.

“He feels so much cuter than he is.” Brian whispered with a smile.

“Shut up and go to bed, Mr.Eyesight.”

Brian giggled. He was Mr.Eyesight now, huh? Well, it was better than the nickname Daredevil; the name now unfitting. 

To have eyesight for the first time in his life! What a trip.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos, comment, and reblog my post for this chapter on tumblr!!!


	6. Baby Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Brian spend time together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry this took hell and forever i was hella busy these past two months. my boyfriend came this month for a week and that was fantastic so i hadnt written from about christmas to when he came but ive been writing my main series Drowse (on this profile, go read and tell me if you came from here!!!) so yeah! anyways enjoy!

The room was pitch black when Brian woke up that morning.

Not that he was very surprised, everything looked like that but just what could be described as foggier on any given day. He knew he was inside of his room since he'd gone there yesterday after his eye exam- _Oh_, the eye exam.

It was a brand new feeling like he'd unlocked a new emotion when he realized once he removed the sleeping mask embroidered with the hospital's logo he would have sight for the second time in his life. He hadn't seen the room yet, nor had he seen much of anything else. How would he even know he was with the right people? He, unfortunately, didn't remember what Roger had looked like the day before so he would have to ask around if they weren't already awake.

Well, now was better than later, so he slowly skimmed the mask over his forehead into his hair where it sat while he hesitated to open his eyes. Through his eyelids, he could see brightness from the room seeping in, but the excitement from the day before had spoiled into nervousness. What happens if his eyes decided to stop working? Or the sunlight overwhelmed his senses and he had a seizure without anyone noticing? By the time he had his last thought, he had forced himself to open his eyes fully.

It was a lot less nerve-wracking once he forced the irrational thoughts out of his mind to let himself look around the room that seemed a lot less imposing than he had built it up to be. The furry animal he knew to be Pac-Man was cuddled into his thighs with his head tucked between his feet over the blankets and past that he didn't recognize what he was seeing. 

Three figures that he knew had to be human were across from him, most likely in chairs by only looks and what he knew sitting had to look like, but he couldn't recognize them. Two of them were sitting with their heads together while the third, the one with the gentlest features, was tucked into a ball that didn't look comfortable.

More staring and Brian decided the one who was in a ball had to be Roger. He pieced together enough facially to remember the way he noticed that his hair was much lighter than his doctors, which was said to be brown. He looked soft and warm if he had any way to put it with sight alone, and that made his heart swell with affection.

An extensive brown square moved in the corner of his eyes and when he looked to see what it was, a large woman wearing a uniform similar to his doctors had come in with something on wheels. There was another square on the wheels and there were more shapes he somewhat recognized from the day before with all different colours he had never seen.

"Morning, Brian," The woman said with a smile. She kept her voice down for the other men in the room and when she was close to his bed, she took the long square with the colourful shapes and set it on his lap. "Breakfast?"

Brian stared at the thing she called breakfast and he honestly didn't know what to think. "What is it?"

Aware of his situation, she pointed out everything. There was strawberry jello, which was the colour red, apple juice, which was yellow despite apples being red, and pancakes which were a tan colour. Along with this, she handed him a fork and knife. The only problem with using a fork and knife when you were blind is that you didn't have to worry about what it would be like to use the tools with sight, so he was quite confused when she handed them to him.

With a motion of cutting with the fork and knife on the stack of pancakes, he was amazed. "I'll cut these for you, and then you can do it yourself later today. Sound good?"

Brian nodded, and she cut the food for him. He took notice to the fact that the palms of her hands were lighter than her skin tone, and when he looked up he saw that one of the men who were sitting in the chairs were too. He also took notice of the fact that the woman's nails were a colour he had never seen.

Before she left, Brian brushed his fingers over her hand and she allowed him to with a smile, probably getting the same gesture quite a lot when working with blind patients who regained sight. "What colour is this?" He asked with his eyes pointed at her nails.

"That would be green."

"Oh, like Doctor Snow's eyes."

"Have you seen a tree yet?"

Brian looked up and shook his head. She only smiled again. "Well, this is like the colour of a tree. Not the bark, the leaves. Today you should look out that window." She pointed at a bright square in the corner of the room where objects seemed to be vibrating back and forth from what he could hear as being wind. That would be the window then.

"I'll do that, thank you." Brian smiled at her and before she left, she gave Pac-Man a pat on the head. He hoped she would return again, as she was lovely and comforting instead of being a cause of his anxiety.

Brian knew how to hold a fork when he didn't have sight, but now that everything was so visible and he didn't have to poke around his plate looking for what he wanted to eat first, everything was complicated. How did you hold a fork when you didn't have your eyes closed? Was that just something you did naturally?

He gripped the metal between his fist, the object pointing down, and he began to stab at his food like a child with a crayon. It worked fine enough, despite being kind of noisy from the plastic scraping against the metal, and the food was easier to get now that he could see. Pride swelled in his chest.

Pac-Man seemed interested in what he was doing so Brian offered him a bite of his pancake, which he took with the same sharp teeth he had seen the day before and was so afraid of. Seeing his dog's eyes widen with excitement while he wiggled himself forward to get the bite of pancake made him understand that he was awfully cute, even if now he had to keep pushing the dog's head away because he had made the mistake of giving him food.

The jello was a confusing food to eat with or without eyesight.

It flapped around his plate independent of itself and it pissed Brian off by slipping off the fork he was given so much that he just said _fuck it_ and set it aside for the dog to eat. Which, of course, he did.

No one had come by to bring him any real dog food and this must have been like dog-crack, so Brian was happy to share, especially since Roger would have to be the one to clean up any accidents he would have if the jello and pancakes backfired on him.

The smacking of the dog eating jello, scrapes against the plastic, and silent '_Fuck'_s must have been enough sound for one of the men, the one with the lighter skin on his hands, and he began to wake up.

Brian observed curiously to see if it was Freddie or John, but he didn't have to wonder long before he flew over to the edge of the bed to stare Brian down like he was the mona lisa.

"Oh my goodness," He whispered, definitely being Freddie's voice. "Hello, Brian!"

"Fred?"

"Mhm!" He hummed. "Oh, looking at you _looking _at me instead of through me or beside me is so crazy! You're really looking at me!" Freddie brought his hands up to Brian's cheeks and shook his head uncomfortably which knocked the clear vision out of him for a moment.

"It's weird, yeah," Brian smiled sheepishly while Freddie got inches from his face. 

"Do you wanna do something? Let's go on a walk, go outside, oh! Let's just walk around and show you everything!'

That sounded so overwhelming for someone who just used ate breakfast by himself for the first time in a few months. He really just wanted a shower, one where Roger would make sure he didn't get soap in his eyes and would kiss his back muscles while making coarse growling sounds because he found him, and his body, irresistible. Well, now shower sex was a lot less dangerous.

"I think I just want a shower," Brian admitted shyly. Freddie seemed excited even for that, and Brian was now aware Freddie was just excited because he could see. "Could you help me up and get to Roger? I just need your hand, standing is a little..." He waved his hand side to side.

Freddie agreed and took his hand to kindly help him out of the bed. Despite his enthusiasm and hyperactivity, he was as gentle as possible upon seeing the way Brian's eyes went wide and he looked like he was standing on the edge of a fifty story building from just looking down at the floor.

"My socks, what are those?" Brian asked, squinting. Freddie was confused for a second but when he looked down at the socks Brian was wearing, he smiled and looked back up at him.

"Spaceships."

"Really?" He looked excited. He knew what a spaceship is, he had read about them and he loved every detail about them that he could get from reading alone. Space, especially.

He could name every planet and star in order from how far they were from earth backwards and forwards, and Roger had gotten him stars and planets you stick to the walls and ceiling so he could feel what they looked like. They now were above their bed, and he always felt them when he woke up or went to bed just to always remember what it was like. 

He had known he had clothes with space-esque things on them but he had never seen them, and plus what did space things even look like? He didn't really know colours or shapes, so having the moon described to him as a _white circle _wasn't anything that meant something to him. Looking down at the socks he was wearing, he now knew what a circle was and what the colour white was. His socks had rocketships, apparently, and what he could identify as being the moon.

"Oh," Brian said with wide, enthusiastic eyes. "The moon!"

Freddie's jaw dropped dramatically and he pat him on the back excitedly. "Yes! The moon! Oh, I'm going to cry."

Brian looked up at Freddie to perhaps comfort him so he wouldn't get too emotional but a movement caught his eye and when he looked, Roger was sitting up and stretching his arms out by pulling himself up from the chair in a pull-up motion. His hair was tangled and messy from sleep and he had his shoulders attempting to connect from how uncomfortable his rest must have been, but god he looked so lovely that Brian couldn’t help but smile; a familiar blush crept over his cheeks that deepened the longer he looked.

"What are _you_ lookin' at?" Roger asked with a hand running through the side of his hair. There wasn't any malice behind the question quite obviously as a smile was evident on his lips when he asked it. His voice was deep, and Brian's cock embarrassingly twitched with interest.

"I was thinking I'd take a shower."

Roger stopped running his hand over the side of his head and looked to Brian with very sudden crystal clear clarity. "Uh-huh."

"So, if you'd like to help."

"Uh-huh."

John was awake, and now he and Freddie were exchanging knowing, if not kind of disgusted, looks.

"Well," John said, standing and taking Freddie's hand. Roger took Brian's arm to help him keep upright when Freddie's arm was taken. "We're gonna go get breakfast. We'll be gone for, uh, maybe an hour?" He looked for confirmation and Roger nodded.

Freddie, obviously going to make a remark about what they were gonna do in that hour, giggled when his partner practically shoved him out of the room to give the other couple privacy.

Well, being alone, Brian stared down to Roger who was just as beautiful as his brain allowed him to remember despite not remembering earlier.

"I forgot how pretty you are," Brian admitted shyly. "I honestly forgot what you looked like, but, it's all new."

"Well, don't forget again," He tapped Brian on the forehead and smiled sleepily. "I'll be sad if you do."

"I'll try not to," Brian answered sincerely, very seriously, which made Roger laugh. "Why is that funny?"

"I know you won't forget. Don't be so serious." He teased with a hand going to Brian's chest. 

Now he laughed too, but he was still a little confused. Roger knew what to do to ease him and put a hand on his lower abdomen with his head going into his shoulder.

"Two weeks without any contact," Roger said breathlessly. "You're wound tighter than a piano."

Brian knit his expression together and sighed. "It's been a little much."

"Oh, I know. I've seen you. Got a boner when we held hands last night."

Brian's face went completely red. "I did not."

"If you want to believe that you didn't, you can, but it'll probably make you feel better to know that Freddie and John didn't see."

That didn't really help. At all. "This is the worst foreplay ever, I'll have you know."

"Oh, trust me, I could read you a shopping list and you would be coming in your little hospital-permitted trousers." Roger's tone got lower as he spoke, and honestly, he wasn't wrong. Just the way he was speaking got him a little aroused and Roger quickly noticed with a grin spreading across his pale cheeks that made Brian’s tummy feel a little warm like the first time he heard his voice.

“How about you just sit on the bed and relax? We can worry about showering later.”

Brian nodded and Roger checked for a window on the door so they wouldn’t be caught in their actions. Unfortunately, there was a small square window in the middle of the door, but he figured if anyone came in he would just make something up. Not that Brian would last terribly long with the fact that he was whimpering by just moving.

“Do you want to-“ Roger started but when he looked back to Brian, he looked quite desperate for his lovers' touch with his trousers already untied and down below his waist. “Wow. Someone’s needy.”

Brian could only smile with a breathy laugh to confirm that he really needed Roger to touch him already.

“You have to be quiet, can you do that?” Roger asked genuinely. His hands went to either side of Brian’s thighs and he whined.

“Yeah- Yeah I can.”

“You’re sure?” His hands trailed upward and Brian looked almost as if he would come right then.

“Y-Yeah.”

“I want you,” Roger said in a low tone. “To look at me when you come. I wanna see that clarity in your eyes when you see me, really see me, make you come. Right now I want you to look down and watch me pleasure you, okay?”

He could only nod at this point. He was a little too far gone to be talking without any of it being exactly what he just said he wouldn’t do. Roger took his cock, something he’d never seen before but didn’t really care to get into at the moment, and watched as thin fingers wrapped around and began to stroke up and down smoothly with a gentleness that showed he didn’t want to overwhelm him.

“Fuck,” Brian said with a wince, looking up to Roger for a moment. The sight of being shown what it looked like when he was getting a hand-job, like he’d received and given so many times before, and being pleasured was incredibly overwhelming in a sense of ecstasy. He was being pleasured by Roger’s hand, and he could see it. He could see the way that Roger’s hair fell into his face a little and the way his blue eyes narrowed with focus. He could see-

Roger leaned forward and got on his knees to elevate himself up to Brian’s height to lock him into a kiss. He continued to stroke and after a moment, he increased the speed in which he was moving his wrist and tightened his grip a little which forced a moan out of Brian that was muffled by the kiss.

He didn’t know what to do with his hands, but he knew to kiss with your eyes open was strange so he closed them.

It was a little better and the sensation skyrocketed when he felt his hips buck into Roger’s hand, but he didn’t cease his movements which only made it more drool-inducing. His partner deepened their kiss to silence the sounds he was making involuntary despite promising not to, and after a moment he could feel his face flushing and his hips wetting with the come that dripped from Roger’s grasp.

“Hey,” Roger whispered and used his other hand to tilt Brian’s head up. He opened his eyes and panted with exhaustion, knowing he was so close to finishing. “Look at me.”

Brian and Roger locked eyes and the blonde smiled with his tongue darting out to the sides of his lips. Seeing Roger so aroused himself set him off, and after just a moment of intense eye contact, Brian bucked his hips one more time and gripped the sheets, all while Roger kept a loose grip on his jaw to maintain the eye contact he demanded.

“That was fast,” Roger smiled with a heavy breath. “Did that feel good?”

Brian sat up straight and put his forehead against his boyfriend's shoulder to keep himself up. Heavy gulps of oxygen, while he came back to earth from the happy, ecstasy-soaked place he had just been in, helped keep him steady. "Very," He rasped out, rubbing his forehead against the shoulder. Hands came to either side of his head and he smiled when fingernails scratched gently through his hair. "S' good."

"I'll get you a towel, love."

The sensation returned when Roger returned and began to stroke over his cock again and despite this time not being sexual, Brian still jerked with a wince. He had to force himself not to grow hard again, and it took all of his will power to do so. Cleaned, Roger did the job for him and pulled his trousers up.

"How're you feeling, sport?" The blonde smiled, the sexual tension gone from his gaze to be replaced with attention and affection.

"Better than yesterday."

Roger smiled and hummed. "Good, I don't need you passing out."

"You were the one who passed out, dumbass."

Roger shot his finger up and widened his eyes. "Listen! It was a very sensitive moment!"

Brian smiled and put his hands up to touch his boyfriend's face, but Roger quickly took an easy hold of his wrists. "Well, I suppose."

The comfortable silence blanketed them, and now the only sounds in the room were the small smacks of kisses Roger was peppering all over Brian's wrists and hands. It was gorgeous watching a sign of affection and deep romance play in front of him where he could see instead of only hearing it, it was one of the most beautiful things he'd ever seen.

"I love you," Brian whispered and brought his lover's hand to his face to stroke his cheeks with. "I love this."

"I love you too, Bri," Roger smiled and stretched his fingers over the brunettes face, humming while he saw Brian look up at him to simply study the features on his face. 

"I'm glad you're here with me."

"I'm glad too, love."

Roger slowly leaned in and took a gentle hold of Brian's face to kiss him over and over on both of his cheeks, waiting for a moment to kiss his lips like it was the first time they ever had. 

He felt like this was the first day of his entire life, and he couldn't wait to spend it with Roger.


	7. Get These Dicks Out Of My Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian and Roger literally just look at nudes, dawg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my birthday is tomorrow and i’m turning 19!!!! :) enjoy this weird fucking chapter. i love when y’all comment and i recognize you from my other story Drowse because y’all go from Deowse, a very depressing story, to this where i can be Silly and show i’m funny and not morbidly depressed all the time :) my instagram is @secretsonofjimihendrix (dm to be accepted) and my tumblr is @feedermercury

What the fuck is that?

That was the first thought of the day when Brian rolled onto his side and saw Roger, his lovely boyfriend, staring down at something that was just...Weird.

"What the fuck is that thing?" Brian blinked and squinted, but the object in his boyfriend's hands didn't go away or stop doing what it was doing which was rapidly moving with weird colours he couldn't even begin to describe.

"What's what?" 

"That," Brian pointed. "That thing. In your hands."

Roger held it up. "My phone?"

Brian blinked. "That's your phone?" He looked around the room. "Where's mine? I wanna see."

Roger fished another similar phone out of his pocket and handed it to him. Instinctively, he pressed the on the button but it didn't do anything despite having the clicking sound. "Is it broken? It isn't doing that, with all the stuff. Like yours, what's mine doing?"

"Babe," Roger smiled and took the phone from his confused hands. "You have the curtain on."

With a few swipes and vocal commands, the black curtain was lifted from the screen and the screen was bright with a whole mess of colours just like Rogers'. His eyes widened in curiosity and he was rapidly tapping on the coloured squares, each one announcing to him in a familiar and fast-paced voice which one was which.

'_Facebook, Inst- Gallery- Mess- App Store- Weather-' _It tried without success to keep up with Brian's rapid tapping and swiping but he kept interrupting the voice with more and more swiping and curiosity filled tapping.

"What's in my gallery?"

"Photos."

"Do I have any in there?"

"Shit, I don't know. Check."

The gallery was confusing to say the least. He had no idea what he was looking at. Roger took his side on the edge of the bed and with his fingers wiping off on the sheets, covered in crumbs from crisps he was eating, he took the phone.

"Okay, most of these are blank and accidental screenshots, but I have photos a'plenty on my thing." He smiled up at Brian and he felt his cheeks heat up when he got a smile back. "I got lots of cute pics of us, you wanna see?"

Brian's eyes widened. "Sexy photos or cute photos?"

"Both."

They both smiled.

"Okay," Roger said with a wide grin, holding his own phone up with a photo of himself and another person on the screen. They were on a couch with a dog that looked similar to the one he had by him right now and the living room was tidy with a brown sofa. Roger was smiling and the other person was too. "This is one of my favorite photos of us."

Brian furrowed his brows with deep confusion. "What? Who's that?" He pointed to the other man and Roger looked confused as well, but the realization set in.

Brian had never seen himself.

"Oh, that's you."

The phone was snatched out of his hands and Brian got impossibly close to the screen. "That's...Me?" He put a hand up into his hair and felt the texture of the hair that he knew what felt like but no idea what it looked like. It was strange.

His hands went to his nose next and he felt the way, and saw the way, it curved upward and then back down. It was surreal. He looked like that, he was see-able. 

The thing he really appreciated about Roger is that he would never let him out of the house looking stupid or weird. Most people had no idea he was blind until they saw how he moved and acted with certain things since he didn't fit the stereotypical 'blind person'. He didn't wear sunglasses, he hardly used a cane, and he wasn't constantly bumping into things like a poor little infant who constantly needed help.

Sure, he couldn't ever live alone without extreme measurements, but he could survive doing 'normal' things. He didn't need help constantly. The point is; Roger is a lifesaver.

"I look like that? All of the time?"

Roger looked side-ways at the photo. "You look really good in this photo, what do you mean?"

"No, I mean...I look like this?"

"Yeah, babe."

"Wow."

Roger smiled and gave Brian's cheek a light-hearted pinch. "I have some photos of us fucking too, remember taking those?"

Brian's face went bright pink. Yes, he did. He absolutely remembered. His mind was taken away from how he looked and he nearly forgot.

"And I also have those photos I asked to take so I could wank to them later if you want to see those too."

"I remember that," Brian smiled. "Cause you would miss me when I went to stay with my parents."

"Also," Roger raised his eyebrows and tilted his head while he swiped through the phone. "Cause I'd miss that _DICK."_

"Wow, you have such a way with words." He rolled his eyes.

"Well, I would. I couldn't live without that spicy, spicy penis."

Brian blank-faced. "I hate this conversation."

Roger smiled. "Look at this picture," He held it up and, once again, he had no idea what he was looking at. "It's your dick."

"Jesus Christ," Brian slapped the phone onto the bed and looked away. "You're gross."

"Wait I have a picture of my dick too," Roger went for his phone again but he was beaten to it by Brian who snatched it up just before Roger could. This was impressive for a whole bunch of reasons but mostly because his depth perception was getting fantastic. 

"No more penis!" Brian laughed, holding the phone away from grabby-hands. "I don't want any more penises in my eyes! They're new, and that means my eyes are virgins!"

Roger laughed with a hand still going for the phone. "With the shit I've done to you, your eyes are _not _virgins. I've come on every inch-"

Brian started humming and he shut his eyes. "No more! Bleh!"

Roger could hardly stop laughing, tears were forming and he couldn't breathe. "Gimme my phone and I won't show you anymore! I have cute photos too!"

"I don't believe you."

"Come on!"

"I do not believe you, you bastard!"

"I swear on my mothers grave."

"Dude, she isn't dead yet."

Roger winked and Brian had no idea what that meant. He handed the phone back and the instant he had it, he began scrolling through the photos with a devious smile. Unfortunately, Brian didn't know what that smile meant unless he was the one making it.

"Okay, I love this one," Roger held it out. "It's cute."

"Roger!" Brian shouted. "Stop with the genitals!"

"Babe, that's your arm around my shoulder."

"Oh," He laughed a little and went forward for a better view. "I like that one."

"This is genitals." He swiped too fast for Brian to react and, yep, there was a penis again.

"I hate having sight."

Roger grinned and pushed Brian in for a forced kiss, a humming accompanying it. "You love it and you love me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment, kudos, and subscribe so you won’t miss a chapter :) also my instagram is @secretsonofjimihendrix (dm to be accepted) and my tumblr is @feedermercury


	8. I'm Really Happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian goes outside for the first time.

Brian could be stubborn, more stubborn than Roger if he wanted to be. 

It was one of those days, and Brian had been backed into a literal corner. It was stubbornness and fear that backed him into the less than a metaphorical bend, and none of them were pleased about it.

It was twelve in the afternoon, and he'd just had breakfast. He'd also taken a shower, which was weird, but it was made less weird by a blanket covering the mirror he had inside of the hospital's bathroom. It wasn't questioned that he didn't want to see himself again, but it was questioned when he suddenly panicked at the idea of going outside.

"I don't know why he's losing his mind," Roger whispered to John who was standing behind him, also locked out of the bathroom that Brian had locked himself in. "It's not a big deal."

"It's new to him, Rog," John explained despite sharing the same opinion. "It's gonna be weird for him."

Brian could hear them, he wasn't deaf, but he wasn't going to say anything to them if they weren't even going to try and understand his side of things. "I'm going to do it, just give me a minute!"

But they'd been waiting for nearly an hour. And it was getting obvious that he wasn't readying himself but instead worrying his way into a spiral of anxiety at the thought of going out. Roger knew he wasn't going to say it, but he knew the reason behind his fear was rooted more in his epilepsy than fear of the unknown.

Fear of his illness taking a turn on him the moment his eyes, sensitive and basically brand new, seeing something too bright was genuine. He had never really had a problem with bright lights since he couldn't see them, but really the stress wasn't helping either. That could also trigger a seizure if he wasn't going to calm down any time soon, and that would be worse since he'd locked the door.

Roger slid onto the wooden frame of the door and put his hand under the wide opening of the door underneath the bottom. Brian gently stroked the palm of his hand, and that helped ease his tension a little bit. "They'll never let us go home if you don't make a little progress, Bri."

Brian dragged his hand over Rogers' over and over again. Roger couldn't see his expression, but he knew he was probably frowning. "I know, I just don't wanna have one and...I don't know, lose my sight or something."

"I know," He raised his index finger and tugged it around Brian's own. "But I promise It'll be okay. We have those sunglasses, that'll protect you."

"But what if they don't?"

He really didn't want to be in the hospital for another week after a seizure, especially if it was as bad as the last one he had. Brian had nearly bashed his skull in on the hard-wood tiling of the kitchen and for a few hours, he'd forgotten his name and where he was, not to mention the intense pain he was in for days after.

"I'll take care of you, you know that."

Wobbling up to his feet, Brian opened the door and rested heavily on the door-frame with an ever so slight smile on his lips. "I wanna bring Pax."

Roger scoffed dramatically. "Obviously. He needs sunshine too."

That perked him up and he excitedly went searching for the vest for his dog. Roger would help, especially when Brian passed it up four times, but he needed to get used to finding things on his own without reaching for them when they were twenty feet away. Depth perception was slowly getting better, but he needed to do things for himself.

"This?" Brian asked, holding the vest up with little confidence behind his weak smile.

"Yep, perfect."

He grinned with pride for himself and whistled for Pac-Man who came running from the open door in their room. He'd been off getting attention from everyone who saw him, and since he was a service dog they just kind of assumed he would be well-behaved enough to explore the wing. Kids really liked him since he was a dog, but he was more interested in sleeping on them and eating their food.

Brian closed his eyes to put the vest on but Roger kicked him in the hip and that was enough to get his attention, eyes opening with a glare.

"Eyes open, soldier. Gotta learn."

He sighed. It was harder to do things with his eyes opened than they were closed, but he got why Roger wanted him to, so whatever. It took him a few frustrating tries but he eventually got it around the canine who sat patiently for him.

Freddie and John were already outside where they apparently found a fountain surrounded by grass in a courtyard of the hospital. Brian was excited to see that, he loved the sounds of fountains and the feeling of grass on his skin. He had always wondered what they looked like and it seemed it was his chance, even if he was a little nervous.

The hallways were full of people.

Brian was beginning to realize his height was noticeable; some people were shorter than him like Roger and some were even shorter than Roger. So far no one was taller than him, but it was still very interesting to see. 

There were so many different kinds of people to see, people of both genders and weights and hair colours. He didn't know how different people could actually be until he was walking through a hallway looking at them.

Some patients in the ward stared back at him like he was a ghost and it was most likely that they were just like him and were just as amazed at all of the different people they were finally able to see.

Long squares with colours inside made his head swim, and he loved the feeling that each gave him. One square in particular really caught his eye, and he wasn't sure why Roger laughed when he gawked at it and relished in its beauty.

"I like this a lot," Brian smiled and ran his fingers over it. To his surprise, it had lettered in braille. "Oh."

Roger snorted in a laugh and put a hand over his mouth. "I didn't want to say anything."

It was a men's bathroom sign.

"Well, it's still cool looking."

"Sure, bub. It's a real Mona Lisa."

So they continued. It was sort of slow since Brian repeatedly stopped to look at every single thing on the wall but it was worth it if it meant he was getting comfortable with seeing things.

By the time they finally made it to the double doors leading outside, the other boys had been waiting for nearly half an hour.

It was blindingly bright even through the windows of the double doors. Brian squinted and yanked the deeply shaded sunglasses out of his pocket and even though it helped, it wasn't that comforting knowing that outside was so damn bright.

Roger took him by the hand and his mind blanked, only focusing on the loving touch he was being given. "It's gonna be okay, Bri."

It was. He was gonna be able to see the clouds and sky for the first time, and later that night maybe he'd be able to see the stars he loved so fondly.

"I want to go outside," Brian said, hollow but confident. "I wanna see it."

"Then let's see it."

The doors opened with an irritating squeak and Pac-Man, who was previously waiting patiently by his side, was let go of and Brian let him know with a pat on the back that he was allowed to run away. The dog went straight to Freddie and John who had cheek-splitting grins on their faces upon seeing the couple.

The first thing Brian thought was how overwhelming everything was. Everything moved, everything had sounds, and everything was bright even with the sunglasses. It made him anxious and he reached right back out to take Roger's hand.

Roger lifted his free hand and pointed around. "That's a tree, there's a fountain, some flowers. There are some people over there, and Pac-Man is peeing on that fence."

Brian smiled and looked at everything he was being shown. Before Roger could continue, he started racing to the fountain that seemed to have the most amount of noise radiating out of it.

He knew the colour blue, and he knew the colour white. There was a dirtier white on the brick making the fountain up. "Water?" 

Roger nodded.

"I love it."

Freddie and John approached, Pac-Man running circles around them, and watched as their friend put both his free hand and the hand still intertwined with Roger's right into the fountain that had freezing water inside of it.

"Fuck," Brian laughed and broke the hand-holding he was engaging in to circle the fountain by himself. "It's great."

There was grass under his socked feet, and he could see it! He knew it was weird but he didn't really care; he quickly tossed his socks off and laid down on the grass with his cheek rubbing against the freshly-cut lawn.

His friends weren't going to mention how weird it was, and they were getting looks from other people in the courtyard, but it wasn't hurting anything to join him.

Before Brian knew it, no one in his friend group had socks or shoes and all of them were laying on the grass save for Pac-Man who was still running circles and coughing grossly loud like he'd smoked a pack a day for ten years.

He was so focused on the grass that he didn't bother looking up. The clouds, birds, and trees overhead were almost too much.

"Oh, wow," He laughed but felt tears choking him up. "That's- Wow."

"How are you feeling, Brian?" Freddie asked, smiling over to his friend. "Does it look how you expected?"

Brian shrugged with a wet, emotional laugh. "I don't know, I couldn't even imagine this! It's better than anything anyone ever told me about."

"How's your head?"

"It's good, I feel good."

Roger put his hand on top of his and squeezed. "I've brought my laptop, we should look at photos of things you enjoy."

Brian hummed. "I'd like to leave the hospital...See them myself..."

Roger sat up from the grass and yanked Brian's arm so he would have no choice but to join him in sitting up. The brunette gave him what could have been the absolute most pitiful look he'd ever seen when he was up, his body still slightly limp.

"You know I'd check you out if I could, Bri. I'm just not willing to risk anything."

Brian frowned and tilted his head like a hurt puppy dog.

"You were- You little turd, don't look at me like that."

Brian gave a confused, hurt, puppy dog look.

"You heard me," Roger put his hand into his partner's hair who stared at his forearm and yanked his ear, getting a whine. "Don't act like you weren't freaking out about going outside. I know you're bored, but it's only a few more days! Plus-"

"Do you want your eyes to explode? No. So, you wait a few more days," John piped up.

Freddie joined with a laugh; "Yes, we need to make sure your brand new eyes explode in the hospital and not outside of it. Duh, Brian. Use your head."

Brian stared at the grass in front of him with tight lips. "Shut up, I hate all of you."

Freddie put his hands across Brian's head and shook him until his vision looked like he was rolling down a hill sideways. "No, you do not! You little goblin person. Be nice or we'll leave you out here and watch you wobble around till' you cry."

They all burst into laughter at the idea, and Brian flopped back onto the grass.

"I love you guys," Brian smiled, his eyes wide in an attempt to swallow every inch of detail up. "I'm really happy."

**Author's Note:**

> Please, kudos, comment, and bookmark so you don't miss the next chapter!


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